Conflict is a part of life and it is inevitable. Conflict begins in one’s self like what to study, what food to eat and which movie to go. When so be the case for self, it is necessary to face the conflict and find the solution.The success lies in resolving the conflict by proper understanding, healthy discussion and a win-win approach keeping in mind the end objective.
It once happened that me and my very close friend had some sought of a cold war between us for some silly reason and our views in few educational areas were different. At that time ,we had to do a project in our school. I was under the assumption that I would group up with my close friend, and hence was not bothered searching for a team mate. But my friend ,due to the misunderstanding between us decided not to do the project with me without letting me know about it and had also found another team mate. When I got to know about this ,it was too late to find a good team mate as most of the class had already formed groups. I really got mad on my friend and also showed my anger on her directly saying that it was not wrong on her part to do the project with someone else but she should have informed me about her decision so even I could have found another group mate and would not have been in a fix. I also stopped talking to her to make her realize that I was still disappointed with her act. After a few days, my friend realized her mistake and apologized to me for her mistake.
Thus I sum up that conflicts are inevitable and cannot be avoided but needs to be successfully tackled .In order to resolve a conflict ,firstly we should understand the core issues giving rise to conflict , give a patient hearing .We should not allow emotions to overrule but communicate our view point effectively .we must accept our mistake gracefully if we are wrong otherwise tell that we agree to disagree on the point politely .
Do you agree with my view that conflicts are not avoidable but resolvable in most cases?
Hi Abbinayaa,
ReplyDeleteI think that you have taken the right approach to tackle the problem with your friend. We will often let our emotions take over us and hence do things that result in conflicts. Hence, I think that you have properly controlled your feelings and prevented your friendship from getting strained.
However, I can sense a bit of sarcasm in your words when you say that you felt so happy. If your friend had been a person who is very sensitive, she might have taken it as a sarcastic remark and hence misunderstood your intention. Thus I think that you could have tone down on the choice of words so that it does not imply anything un-necessary.
I hope that my comments have helped you and I wish you the best in your future team projects.
Regards,
Ryan
Hi Abbinayaa,
ReplyDeleteI personally felt that you approached the issue in a calm and polite manner. Even though she was wrong in the first place, you controlled your emotions and resolved the conflict while maintaining your friendship. Instead of being selfish, you shared your reference with her and even after the misunderstanding you still offered your assistance, which is definitely very noble of you. I believe she misunderstood your intentions or she did not know you wanted to borrow it from the library so it was easy to clear up the air once you confronted her.
I do agree with you that conflicts are not avoidable but resolvable in most cases. However the important point is how to approach and resolve the conflicts effectively. In your case, friendship was preserved which shows that settling such misunderstandings peacefully is the correct approach.
Many people have the misconception that conflict is an all-or-nothing situation so therefore either they avoid it altogether or they end up in an all-out combative mode, regardless of the real severity of the conflict. However that is not true and using effective communication methods to reduce conflict is a much better method as compared to ignoring the conflict altogether or having a total faceoff.
On the whole, I feel that you have done your best as a friend and instead of avoiding the issue by turning a blind eye to things. You showed great tolerance and emotional quotient by resolving the conflict and still managing to preserve your friendship. Your post has allowed me to reflect on my past actions and I hope that my comments will be of help to you in the future when such conflicts occur again.
Regards,
Jay
Hi Abbinayaa,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you that conflicts are inevitable but in most cases it can be resolved. However, I feel that conflicts need not end in a win-win situation. This is because in most situations, conflicts happen when two parties have firm different opinions on certain issue. At times, there is often one party who needs to take a step back and give way to the other party.
In your case, it is fortunate that your friend came to her senses after realizing what she did was wrong. I feel that you had done your part as a friend by offering her your assistance even though you knew that she borrowed the book before you on purpose. It was also very big hearted of you to forgive her without reprimanding her at all. I don’t think I can do it if this would to happen to me. Nevertheless, you handled the situation very well and it was reflected in the end result.
Lastly, I feel that the scenario can be considered as a very small conflict as there wasn’t any big arguments or confrontations within you and your friend. It might be better if you had told another conflict that was more intense and still unsolved yet. Therefore, I could give you comments or suggestions to solve the conflict.
Regards,
Hao Tan
Hi Abbinayaa,
ReplyDeleteYour post was very insightful.I really liked the way you actually connected conflict to an individual. It is indeed very true that conflicts actually starts within us first.And hence solution should also come from us.
Your approach to your situation was very mature and controlled. As a friend it is very important that one should always take in consideration of how your friend will react to your action. Your friend was very understanding. The communication between you and your friend was very clear and diplomatic.
All in all I completely agree with your approach of tackling the problem instead of avoiding. Understanding and approach to the problem are the most important part of conflict management which your post clearly depicted. At the end its not what kind of conflict you got into its how you solved it which matters. I really hope to see your maturity in our group project.
Regards
Ayushi Sisodiya
Hi Abbinayaa,
ReplyDeleteYour friend is lucky to have you as a friend. It was helpful that you gave her the reference of the book that you would be taking from the library. Furthermore, after knowing that the book was taken by her, you did not lost your temper and managed to control your frustration. Good job in controlling your emotions!
However, I sensed some sarcasm in your words which your friend could have misunderstood your intentions. A conflict may arise if your friend is a very sensitive girl as she may end up misunderstood your meaning. It could be better if you try to reduce your sarcasm by using words like “you are glad that…” instead of “you are so happy that…”
I agree with your view that conflicts are unavoidable but resolvable in most cases. We just need to put in more effort in resolving conflicts. However, I felt that it takes two hands to clap to resolve a conflict. Both parties in the conflict will need to put in the effort to resolve the existing conflict in order to resolve the conflict. It is futile if only one party who is willing to put in the effort to resolve the conflict when the other party refused to compromise. In this situation, it will only lead to a win-lose situation where only one party compromised. Thus, the conflict may not be resolvable in some cases.
Li Hua
Hi Abbinayaa,
ReplyDeleteYou gave a very good definition of conflict. ”conflict begins in one’s self”, I agree with you that conflicts arise because everybody has his own preferences for every aspect of life. In order to resolve a conflict, we have to understand each other and learn to control our temper.
Your example best showed that how an actual conflict might arise. However, since the topic is on resolving interpersonal conflict, it will be best if you can illustrate an example that a conflict has already arisen. In your example, you only managed to show how to prevent a conflict from happening. However, I still like the way you deal with the issue. It always results in bad result if one person shows anguish to the other in a case of conflict. If everybody could show understanding and care to one another, there will be no more conflict in the world.
Your conclusion shows a good strategy to tackle conflict. I personally agree with your way to resolve conflicts. It is really very important that “we must accept our mistake gracefully if we are wrong”. We seriously need to give up our selves temporarily in a conflict. Again, we have to apply the concept of effective communication to help resolve any misunderstanding in a conflict.
Lastly, your post is well-structured. From definition to example, and end with conclusion, I can see clearly how you manage your thought. It appears to me that this is a very coherent and concise post.
By Likai